Tuesday, July 18, 2017

National Lampoon Dated 1972 - "Deteriorata" - Funny, But Sad

"Go placidly amid the noise and waste, and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive persons unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowing of those greater than yourself and heed well their advise even though they may be turkeys; know what to kiss and when.

Consider that two wrongs never make a right but that three do. Whenever possible, put people on hold. Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment and despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big fortune in computer maintenance.

Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend. fold, spindle and mutilate. Know yourself; if you need help, call the FBI. (Or the NCAAP, Hillary, Nancy or the ACLU, my comment) Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially those persons closest to you. That lemon on your left, for instance.

Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face. Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan; and let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Hire people with hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311; ask for Ken.Take heart among the deepening gloom that your dog is getting enough cheese; and reflect that whatever misfortunes may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee. You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here (and have air conditioning, my comment), and whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive Him (or her, my comment) to be; Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin. With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. Give up".

By Tony Hendra, 1972

No comments: