A little humor from my daughter Nancy who thinks I misunderstood the terminology my brokers were using regarding the financial advice I’ve received from them over the years:
Broker: What you are this year compared to last year.
Bear market: Where Smokie buys his grocers.
Bull market: A bar filled with horny guys.
Stock analyst: cow psychiatrist
Merrill Lynch: What you’d like to do to Merrill.
Market turnaround: Oops…I forgot the milk.
Schwab: What pirates do to the decks of their shwips.
Day trader: E-Bay obsessed.
Bonds: Helluva baseball player.
Prime rate: What a good steak sets you back.
Allan Greenspan: God.
Thanks, Nancy, now I know why my portfolio investments are moving forward like “a herd of turtles in a windstorm”.